Monday 24 September 2012

Never mess with an older woman

   
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?


Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.


Older Woman: Oh, I see.


Officer: Can I see your license please?


Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.


Officer: Don't have one?


Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.


Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.


Older Woman: I can't do that.


Officer: Why not?


Older Woman: I stole this car.


Officer: Stole it?


Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.


Officer: You what?


Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see


The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.


Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!



 
The woman steps out of her vehicle.


Older woman: Is there a problem sir?


Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.


Older Woman: Murdered the owner?


Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.


The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.


Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?


Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.


 

The officer is quite stunned.


Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.


The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.


The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.


Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.


Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.




 
Don't Mess With Old Ladies

If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone you know. !



 
I just did.

Cheers! Dr Mahinder Singh

Capital suggestion - By Dr Farrukh Saleem

The two Ambani brothers can buy 100 percent of every company listed on the
Karachi Stock Exchange (KSE) and would still be left with $30 billion to
spare. The four richest Indians can buy up all goods and services produced
over a year by 169 million Pakistanis and still be left with $60 billion to
spare. The four richest Indians are now richer than the forty richest
Chinese.

In November, Bombay Stock Exchange's benchmark Sensex flirted with 20,000
points. As a consequence, Mukesh Ambani's Reliance Ind ustries became a
$100 billion company (the entire KSE is capitalized at $65 billion). Mukesh
owns 48 percent of Reliance.

In November, comes Neeta's birthday. Neeta turned f orty-four three weeks
ago. Look what she got from her husband as her birthday present: A
sixty-million dollar jet with a custom fitted master bedroom, bathroom with
mood lighting, a sky bar, entertainment cabins, satellite television,
wireless communication and a separate cabin with game consoles. Neeta is
Mukesh Ambani's wife, and Mukesh is not India 's richest but t he second
richest.

Mukesh is now building his new home, Residence Antillia (after a mythical,
phantom island somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean ). At a cost of $1 billion
this would be the most expensive home on the face of the planet. At 173
meters tall Mukesh's new family residence, for a family of six, will be the
equivalent of a 60-storeyed building. The first six floors are reserved for
parking. The seventh floor is for car servicing and maintenance. The eighth
floor houses a mini-theatre. Then there's a health club, a gym and a
swimming pool. Two floors are reserved for Ambani family's guests. Four flo
ors above the guest floors are family floors all with a superb view of the
Arabian Sea . On top of everything are three helipads. A staff of 600 is
expected to care for the family and their family home.

In 2004, India became the 3rd most attractive foreign direct investment
destination. Pakistan wasn't even in the top 25 countries. In 2004, the
United Nations, the representative body of 192 sovereign member states, had
requested the Election Commission of India to assist the UN in the holding
elections in Al Jumhuriyah al Iraqiyah and Dowlat-e Eslami-ye Afghanestan.
Why the Election Commission of India and not the Election Commission of
Pakistan ? After all, Islamabad is closer to Kabul than is Delhi .

Imagine, 12 percent of all American scientists are of Indian origin; 38
percent of doctors in America are Indian; 36 percent of NASA scientists are
Indians; 34 percent of Microsoft employees are Indians; and 28 percent of
IBM employees are Indians.

For the record: Sabeer Bhatia created and founded Hotmail. Sun Microsystems
was founded by Vinod Khosla. The Intel Pentium processor, that runs 90
percent of all computers, was fathered by Vinod Dham. Rajiv Gupta
co-invented Hewlett Packard's E-speak project. Four out of ten Silicon
Valley start-ups are run by Indians. Bollywood produces 800 movies per year
and s ix Indian ladies have won Miss Universe/Miss World titles over the
past 10 years.

For the record: Azim Premji, the richest Muslim entrepreneur on the face of
the planet, was born in Bombay and now lives in Bangalore.India now has
more than three dozen billionaires; Pakistan has none (not a single dollar
billionaire).

The other amazing aspect is the rapid pace at which India is creating
wealth. In 2002, Dhirubhai Ambani, Mukesh and Anil Ambani's father, left
his two sons a fortune worth $2.8 billion. In 2007, their combined wealth
stood at $94 billion. On 29 October 2007, as a result of the stock market
rally and the appreciation of the Indian rupee, Mukesh became the richest
person in the world, with net worth climbing to US$63.2 billion (Bill
Gates, the richest American, stands at around $56 billion).
Indians and Pakistanis have the same Y-chromosome haplogroup. We have the
same genetic sequence and the same genetic marker (namely: M124). We have
the sam e DNA molecule, the same DNA sequence. Our culture, our traditions
and our cuisine are all the same. We watch the same movies and sing the
same songs. What is it that Indians have and we don't?